Missouri Defense Takes the Wrong Day Off

By: MoMo Harris

Why, Mizzou, why?!  – Cue Annie Lenox great hit Why

Why taunt me with your great defense only for it to fall apart in spectacular fashion to Tre Mason doing his best Bo Jackson impression all over us for 1 kajillion yards. You know what Mizzou bragged about all week, how great our defense is. I mean we contained Johnny Football for fewer yards than LSU did and stopped A&M’s great receiver for only 4 catches for eight yards. When it comes to the option though, Dave Steckel doesn’t know what to do. Hey Dave here’s a tip: THEY ARE GOING TO RUN THE BALL AGAIN! It’s not like it’s Peyton Manning throwing all over you with the crying Knowshon Moreno getting 120 yards for two touchdowns.

I mean come on Pinkel and Steckel, you know they run an option offense, you know they only throw the ball maybe five times a game, but yet you decide to put out a three man line only for it to be gashed over and over and over again. How about this for a plan, put eight men in the box, trust your corners and safeties and just try to stop the run. But no, keep putting three man lines out there…oh wait you just did and Mason just ran another 40 yards! Nice job of making our defense a joke on national television when half the nation finally watched us play for the first time ALL YEAR! Here is what they thought:

“Mizzou’s defense is horrible, just horrible”

America, Mizzou’s defense isn’t that bad, really it’s not, it’s called we have an unimaginative d-coordinator and a coach who doesn’t ask, “Hey, let’s change the scheme, they are just running ALL OVER US!” Wait, Gary trusts too much for his own good, ARRGGHHHH!!

Hey Gary and Josh Henson (O-Coordinator) just a hint as well, how about throwing the ball more downfield, you know you have three beasts who tower over Auburn’s secondary and cannot keep up with them. Screw bubble screens, you have Dorial Green-Beckham who can jump over anyone and catch jump balls all day long; that’s all you have to do! If I see one more time DGB is in the slot I am going to scream. You were able to get away with that all year long, but Auburn isn’t Tennessee, they can punish a receiver in a ten-yard gap.

James Franklin – I love you, but STOP OVERTHROWING WIDE OPEN RECIVERS!!! We left at least two to three touchdowns on the field because you throw it ten yards past them. I mean, it’s called Practice, yeah that’s right, practice, not the game.

Oh and if I have to hear Gary Danielson gush over Auburn like it’s the second coming of Christ I will throw the remote through the TV, wasn’t this the same guy that was gushing over Alabama the week before?! I mean wow Gary, how much can you talk about how Auburn is going to be amazing. you’re a joke Gary and you could be replaced by an Auburn fan just screaming WAR DAMN EAGLE all night long and it would be the same. Plus, Gary, physics majors don’t use test tubes, but you don’t even know that simple fact.

Hey Refs, nice job on preserving the holiness of the SEC. You gave us the call on the TD by DGB, but you did a lot for Auburn to make up that call by not throwing out the player that ran Henry Josey into the cart which caused him to be injured. Wow, I mean you just had to overlook that one. I mean what did you need, a helmet to barely graze his face?! Oh and not calling the multiple facemask calls that were missed, nice job there. Just had to make sure the newbie school didn’t have to go to the national championship and that Auburn, celebrated by throwing TP ON A TREE, gets in.

Auburn, I really don’t hate you, but the more I think about it really TPing a tree, wow, what a great tradition that speaks to hijinks that a 14 year old does to a neighbor’s house. What’s next, spray paint the fence with “War Eagle #1,” sounds amazing. What a great SEC “tradition!”

Ugg, Mizzou was only a game away from the National Championship and watched it literally run away on Tre Mason’s back, which he just ran for a 60-yards just now. What did I do in my life to be a Mizzou fan?

Well at least I can watch Frank Haith choke away good talent and lose in the first (second) round of the Tourney….ARRGGHHH!

-If you want to join in on ‘Loss for Words’, either for Missouri or any other team, send me an email chrisobrien30@gmail.com and I will get your thoughts out there!

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