Kevin Garnett Can’t Say No to the Honey Nut Cheerios




Honey Nut Cheerios was trending on Twitter for a solid 24 hours. Why?

The rumor is Kevin Garnett said to Carmelo Anthony something along the lines of, “Your wife tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios” during the Boston Celtics vs. New York Knicks game.

If this is true, and if it isn’t who cares, I think Kevin Garnett taught us a valuable lesson in trash talk.

Be Oddly Specific

“I slept with your wife” 

Yawn. There’s no shock factor here. Any middle school punk could say this.

Carmelo: That’s a foul ref, he’s all over me!

Kevin Garnett: That’s what your wife said last night!

Clever, a little on the Sean Connery/celebrity jeopardy side, but still, not quite there.

KG: Your wife tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios. 

Knockout punch. The power of being this specific is it approaches the line of, “He could not have possibly made this up.” You say this to someone and there are really only three possibilities:

  1. The wife/girlfriend does in fact taste like Honey Nut Cheerios and the trash talker knows this from personal experience or from rumors floating around.
  2. She does not, at least since the time you’ve been with her, taste like Honey Nut Cheerios, but maybe in the past she did.
  3. She has never tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios, the trash talker just has a very quick witted imagination.

Now you’re stuck weighing the percentages of each potential reality. Your brain would explode under this type of stress. Twenty thousand people booing you, screaming “you suck!” or any other standard taunt is in one ear out the other. But this? If this is what KG actually said, I completely accept Carmelo’s reaction and would understand if he can no longer go down the cereal aisle in the grocery store without losing his mind.

*This is the first of the brand new ‘Twort’ section. We break down the trending sports topics on Twitter, no matter how ridiculous, so you don’t have to. Think of it as the gutter of sports on Twitter. Or the warts of sports reporting. Or, simply, Tworts.

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