Chip-N-Dip Episode 1

Crab Rangoon: This week’s Chip-n-Dip is unknowingly brought to you by Pizza Sam’s. Stop in to Pizza Sam’s, mention our names and get a weird look followed by a delicious (regularly priced) pepperoni pizza.

Beef On Rye:  Dont forget to use the complementary parmesan and red pepper flakes

Crab:  I guess let’s go ahead and start there, if you had to rank parmesan, red pep, and oregano what order are you working with there?

Beef:  Well, from a taste enhancing stand point, im all about the parm. And when you think about it, parm is usually the topping you put on first. Most pizza places offer the parm red pep combo but pizza sams offers the oregano option which, when you get the big three combined (parm red pep  and oregano), you get a fully enchanced slice

Crab:  Now is this bad memory or mixed memory, I feel like in your younger days you were an anti-crust guy?

Beef:  That is very true but for one reason. See Dominos [back in the day] had bad crust..well lets face it, bad pizza and every pizza party I went to seemed to only have bad Dominos. Their pizza was tolerable but their cardboard like crust, game over. But this is where we share the same interest into the thin crust.

Crab:  Well I feel like being an anti-crust guy has a very specific window of being socially acceptable. Like pre-high school, maybe pre-16 it’s like, “Oh, that’s cute, he doesn’t like the crust.” Imagine doing it now at like a business meeting. Wearing a suit and tie saying, “Well no, I don’t do crust.”

Beef:  Whole different story. And i think you can judge a person’s mood on their pizza choice

Crab:  And day of week is a big indicator too. I feel like Tuesday night is the most depressing night to order a pizza. Monday it can be rationalized as this is the pick-me-up from long work day, but Tuesday night I think you’re forfeiting the week.

Beef:  Because we all know that Tuesday night pizza leads to a Wednesday morning cheap shot breakfast with no gym visit.

Crab:  That’s why I think the Pizza Hut Big Box is so dangerous. It’s just daring you to turn that into a two-day streak of breakfast-lunch-dinner

Beef:  And when you’ve hit the 3 meal pizza day, your week has officially hit rock bottom. I once had a back-to-back-to-back triple dip pizza stretch that left me eating salads all weekend and sleeping on the couch one of those nights.

Crab:  How do you feel about ordering a salad for dinner at a restaurant?

Beef:  That’s not how I, or any man for that matter should roll.

Crab:  Cuz a casual half-sandwich and salad at lunch I think is fair or a Ya Ya’s chicken caesar, but the $9-10 dinner hit PLUS you’re passing up on actual food.

Beef:  Exactly. Lunch I agree is fair game. But salad for dinner means you’re skipping a meal AND you’ll have to make up for it later, usually in the form of a “revenge dinner”. This usually means ordering a steak plus an appetizer rendering your salad ineffective at saving you money or keeping you healthy.

Crab:  Actually, speaking of appetizers, I want your verdict on a move I pulled over the weekend.

Beef:  Lets hear this!

Crab:  I was at a table with some friends, none of whom were big jalepeno fans, and I ordered a thing of jalepeno poppers for the table. Dirt Bag move or a Crafty Greasy Veteran play?

Beef:  Man, great play on your part! With a group of people, 1 app usually doesn’t cut it so I bet you ordered those and stepped up and ordered onion straws for the rest of the table.

Crab:  Yeah they were all working the nachos.

Beef:  Right, so you get plenty of poppers with little app competition.

Optional commercial break, check out this Long John Silver’s commercial from 1985.

Crab: And here we go!

Beef: We are back

Crab: So obviously the big news today, aka the big week old news when this goes online, is the announcement of the iPhone 5

Beef: Yes iPhone 5 is to stores in a few days and there is a lot of anticipation. Have you heard some of the new features?

Crab: I’ve heard its only longer battery, thinner, and controversial new cords

Beef: I’ve heard of projected keyboard. Like it projects a digital keyboard on a surface and you type with your fingers on the beams of light. But I think that’s just a YouTube rumor.

Crab: See i feel like there will never be an exciting iPhone announcement from here on out cuz you get all these YouTube videos before hand that get the imagination going. When you see the prototype that has the optional flame thrower, it’s hard to get excited for Siri answering in Spanish.

Beef: Hahaha “If Siri didn’t already give us enough problems, now here she is en Espanol!”

Crab: See I wish Apple would do a Dominos on Siri and just come out and say, “Look, this didn’t work as well as we thought but now she’s actually gonna answer your questions.”

Beef: I think they should do away with Siri all together, really she’s only good in the commercials. now if Siri could do stuff like, say wake you up after you hit the snooze button on your iPhone for the 5th time, you know, stuff you need. Siri for now, just a gimmick in my opinion.

Crab: I’ve actually been using Cha-Cha as my fill-in Siri on my dirt bag phone.

Beef: Cha-Cha? That’s still around? Back to the i5 for a moment tho, Marie told me today that Google maps is now in 3D so you can look around cities and see buildings and houses and streets. It’s crazy man

Crab: I can’t even comprehend that feature. Have you ever wondered how far will the iPhone go in terms of like will there be an iPhone 20, 30, 40? I guess why I ask this is I saw a Now CD in the store the other day and it was NOW 83. I just love the loyalty of that company to their fans.

“Look, you don’t need to get an iPod, no need for downloading music, let us find the top 10 or 12 songs every couple of months, we’ve got you.”

Beef: That has been NOW’s game all these years. I wouldn’t be surprised if they reach triple digits

Crab: Oh, there’s no stopping them now

Beef: Hey-oh!

Crab: It sounds easy, but very few people can master the art of making a mix cd on their own. I have no actual studies to back this up, but 97 percent of mix cd’s have a maximum life of 2-3 full play throughs before they’re thrown out.

Beef: There is definitely a strategy or a method to a playlist

Crab: The days of a mix cd and boom box was so much more pressure. Cuz an iPod you have the playlist option but always the fall back of like, “Well you guys can choose from my other 1000 songs.” A mixed cd you’re putting your whole self out there.

Beef: I love that. A cd you are bringing your best to the table most of the time. I loved the surprises your mixes always bought tho. Because you liked to make your cd a full-fledged mix; old-school, new-school, rock here, rap there, Rosemary’s granddaughter there.

Crab: Hahah well it’s my belief that every cd should have at least one questionable song. But we’re about out of time here on our no time limit, transcribed, unrecorded podcast. We want to end every show with a recommendation for a great sandwich, a good trailer and a decent song. For the sandwich, stop by North Side Deli in Midland. Fairly new-ish store with great sandwiches from some really nice people.

Beef: Check out the trailer for Looper. Looks like a fast paced flick with lots of twists and turns. Time travel that is controlled by the mob, I’m sure there will be a whole lot of action in the future, and the past.

Crab: Call Me Maybe is on its way out and Taylor Swift’s Never Ever is not the right replacement. Try out It’s Always A Good Time as the best of the bad “I’m-a-teenage-girl-in-America” genre.

Keep the conversation going on Facebook and please contact us with your questions, thoughts, suggestions, angry rants or your own sizzle scenarios at chipndipthoughts@aol.com

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