Dwight Howard to the Lakers: Big Man Number Five

Big Man Number Five

By: Christopher O’Brien

Go ahead and turn on Lou Bega’s Mambo Number 5 in a separate tab then come back here and sing along.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Big Man Number Five

(music)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 everybody’s in L.A. so come on let’s ride

To the Staples Center around the corner

J. Buss says he’s got a new big and I really just wanna

See some dunks like I saw last week

I can’t stay calm after Adande’s tweetImage

They got Mikan, Abdul Jabbar, Chamberlain and Diesel

And now in twenty twelve the deal’s only gettin’ sweeter

So what can they do, the other teams in the sport

Can you imagine the Bobcats steppin’ on the court?

Potential’s really high, a banner is expected

Cue the Lakers Band playing the trumpets

A little bit of Mamba draining threes,

A little bit of Pau Gasol, Option C

A little bit of Metta throwin’ bows

A little bit of Steve Nash broken nose

A little bit of Coach Phil, come on back

A little bit of courtside clappin’ Jack,

A little bit of Johnny Depp in the stands

A little bit of Dwight as the big man

-music-

Big Man Number Five!

-music-

Jump up and down, and trade ‘em all around

Burn the Magic to the ground, send the Bynum outta town

Take one step left, and pass to Dwight

Nash at the point, twenty dimes a night

Beat Durant once, and beat the Heat twice

And if it looks like this then ya up the ticket price

(chorus)

I do, want to, sell my car for a ticket or two

If this thing works, and egos fit right,

Kobe gets number six with Dwight

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